How Weird Is Celebrating Valentine's With An Ex?

Under all circumstances, it's pretty weird but then what's the harm. Most of the harm had been done at the time of break up so how bad things could get from there. or who knows may be there is a chance of  reconciliation. After all one never looses hopes on first love. So when a chance as delightfully painful as this presents itself, the heart leaps to grab it.Of course with high hopes.
Being with him was ethereal, every moment of it seemed surreal and perhaps the break up brought an angle of reality to it. That dream was shattered but I got on the ground again. And that was it! I didn't need or even desire anymore love in my life. Loss of the very first person that you ever loved stays with you, the pain carves a niche for itself in you and flourishes there. For long it seemed it will never fade however, one day suddenly it. The heartache suddenly didn't seem to ache as before. Normalcy was settling in again.
But he did come back, after more than a year he did.
"hi"
Naturally I was surprised. Why did he re connect? What does he want to talk about now? We probably fought about every issue under the sun, so no bones left to pick! Has he lost his mind? Probably sent it as a mistake. What if he wants to get back together again???!!
"hi", I replied, still dubious of the intentions.
"how r u?", he asked.
"Well you forfeited the right to ask questions long time back" I instantly regretted saying that. It sabotaged all hopes for a second time if they were there.
"yeah i regret that but even u know it was the right thing to do then"
Wow! The guy didn't loose his head over it. i never got to know why was it the right thing to do at that time.
"is there something u specifically want to say?"
"actually i wanted to ask will u go out with me this friday?"
That escalated quickly! Friday is Valentine's Day! Why does he want to go out then? Some possibility of reconciliation? Seems like the universe wants us together. I know I am getting my hopes too high but when it comes to him I think differently rather irrationally. A part of me said that nothing good will come out of it and the other just wanted to go with him.
"alright"
"i will come to pick u"
With a lots of crazy thoughts in my head I went to bed. I couldn't share the "happy occurrence" with my friends of course who I knew were going to be extremely critical of the bad decision. And it all happened so suddenly that i didn't even get enough time to think about it thoroughly. There is still a day left, may be I could just feign illness. But he might see through it!
All the happy memories started filling my mind, and i might be reliving all of them in the coming days. Or may be he walks over my heart all over again. The sound of rain broke my reverie. It has been raining pretty hard for a February night. Now rain and love have some unique connection. Love blossoms in rain and perhaps that rain made me realise there is no harm in going out once again and I was simply over thinking.
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"Hey", he said and smiled. He was dressed in black and I always thought black suited him rather well. I was looking at him after more than a year and he looked pale. There were dark circles around his eyes and his eyes didn't seem to have their twinkle any more. What has happened to him? Perhaps some personal problem has taken a toll over him or some health issue. Of course he won't divulge the details of his problem. He has always been too much private person.
"Hi! Where are we going?" I asked
"How about a walk? Somewhere isolated?" He loved isolated places. Nothing has changed much except his appearance. "You look good." He added.
"You too." Despite the few anomalies he still looked handsome and the black added to it.
We walked and talked about our lives, how it has changed, how different it was now. All the while I was finding it hard to resist my urge to kiss him. However hard it was to admit I still loved him and time couldn't change my feelings that I had for him.
"Why all of a sudden you wanted to meet me?" I couldn't  help asking that. There has to be a reason. It started drizzling and it reminded me of the first time we went out together. It had rained hard on that day also; almost three years ago. Our first date, our first kiss. And here we were in the rain again after all these years.
"I love you. Never stopped. Only I wanted to be with you again before somebody gets into the way. I want to be with you again." I had waited for more than a year for this moment to come but now something was holding me back. And the rain grew fiercer but it wasn't like the first time I was with him in rain.
"It's been a long time.I love you. Always have. May be some day we can get back together again but today is not that day." I don't know what made me say that. Here was the love of my life and I was throwing it away.
"I will wait for that day." He smiled. Something has changed in him. The old him would have sulked not smiled.
"Let's go home. It's raining pretty hard now."
"Yeah I will drop you off."
"No it's alright." And then we kissed. It was so spontaneous that it took a minute to register what just happened.
"You know today could be that day." He said.
"No. I am sure today isn't that day." I replied and smiled. He smiled back.
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I came home drenched and happy. We didn't get back together. Today wasn't the day. But I feel that day isn't far..........  May be it's not such a weird idea to be with an ex on Valentine's Day!